Uber's Travis has no driver's license and a 1999 BMW

Travis Kalanick, whose company is presently the most valuable private startup in the world, could own practically anything. Yes, granted, without an IPO, his holdings in Uber are mostly illiquid, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that he has... ways of getting cash.

Rich people often own several, sometimes dozens, of incredible cars. But Kalanick is in the awkward position of leading a company that is trying to obliterate personal car ownership. So if he had a Ferrari LaFerrari or McLaren P1 parked in his garage? Awkward!

No worries, though: you don't need an exotic to own one of the dopest cars ever made. Kalanick, you see, owns a BMW M3.

For those unfamiliar, the M3 represents the greatest lineage of sports sedans in history. I don't have many biases in this world, but I am unapologetically biased toward the M3, because it is unapologetically awesome. I have owned two. (M3 ownership is, I think, the only thing I have in common with the CEO of Uber.)

I wouldn't take the convertible — and the E36 is my least-favorite generation of M3 — but now is no time to get picky.

Now, Travis' whip needs a little work, and it sounds like he hasn't been to the DMV in a while. (Spending every day in the back of a Toyota Highlander will do that to you.) But those are manageable issues, right? And if they aren't, I think I can find someone who's happy to take that M3 off his hands.

Coincidentally, science has proven that BMW drivers are the worst, but I'll let you draw your own conclusions about that.